We all have “what if” moments in life. Any given “what if” could lead to a positive or negative scenario. In some cases, “what if” could literally make the difference between life and death.
It did for me.
In retrospect, “what if” can take on a whole new meaning.
Some memories are indelible. Like the day my pregnancy test was positive. I had always been the good girl, the smart girl, an authority-pleasing overachiever ... this could not be happening!
My world came crashing down. I fell apart, crying for what felt like hours. When my tears finally subsided, I made an emergency call to a confidante and, of course, started crying again. She immediately knew the reason. She assured me she could help–she knew of a “good abortion clinic.” She could make the arrangements for me, and I could make it go away, keep it a secret and go on with my life as planned.
In my situation, the opportunities for intervention were extremely limited. All I did was walk to the store, take a test, and make a phone call. Then save money, plan a cover story, and go to the clinic. It was all too easy.
The irony was both palpable and painful several years ago, when I was the keynote speaker for a Pregnancy Center fundraiser near my alma mater. When I researched their history, I learned they had a Center right down the street. I never knew they were there. That heartbreaking reality stirs up a world of “what if” scenarios ...
What if there had been an ICU Mobile Unit parked across the street from campus the day I took that dreaded walk to the store to buy a pregnancy test?
What if someone had been there to offer comfort and support, so I wasn’t alone in that critical moment?
What if there had been an ICU Mobile Unit parked outside the clinic the day my boyfriend drove me there because we felt trapped into an abortion?
Hypothetically, it was unthinkable. We were both Christians, after all.
We believed abortion was wrong–an innocent child’s life should not be taken because of someone else’s “mistake.” It’s stunning how different things appear when a hypothetical becomes reality, and the mistake is your own. We were upper-middle-class kids with good grades, big ambitions, and parents we didn’t want to disappoint. A teen pregnancy was an existential identity crisis. And once-unthinkable actions suddenly become justifiable options in a crisis.
What if we had stepped into an ICU Mobile Unit, desperate for a way out of our perceived disaster, and someone had been there to intervene with truth? Despite our overwhelming emotions, the truth was: we weren’t trapped. Our lives were not over. In fact, God had good plans for our lives–all three of our lives.
What if we had listened ... and believed? It could have changed everything.
That is the life-changing, life-saving power of mobile units.
That is why this work is so vitally important! ICU Mobile equips pregnancy centers and clinics to go beyond their four walls, wherever and whenever the needs are greatest. Working through these partnerships, this ministry is able to serve women, save lives and share the Gospel throughout the country.
What if an ICU Mobile Unit had been there for me, just off-campus or outside the clinic, and I received an ultrasound?
I believe that would have changed everything.
The beating of that tiny heart would’ve been irrefutable evidence of the truth I already knew, but couldn’t admit: God had given this child life. How could I deceive myself into believing his child was my choice?
What if I had enough love and support to make the right choice–to choose life?
Far too many women have “what if” moments like mine. Revisiting them can become a form of self-condemnation, which can grow into depression, addiction, or any number of self-destructive issues. I’m indescribably grateful God led me to a post-abortion Bible study at a Pregnancy Center, where I could understand and grieve the loss of my child, fully receive God’s forgiveness, release my guilt and shame, break destructive patterns, and experience transformative freedom.
That’s the life-giving power of redemption. With redeemed hearts, revisiting even the darkest “what if” moments doesn’t lead to oppression, it instead galvanizes us into action. That’s the path I choose.
It’s a blessing to help pro-life ministries like ICU Mobile save and change more lives ... every time I share my story, I know it honors the life of my child. And I’m grateful for that. But it doesn’t diminish the loss.
What if you had the power to help save women, and men, from ever experiencing that loss? What if you could be there in their moment of crisis, offering hope, truth and life-changing love?
You do. You can. As you give to support ICU Mobile, and pray for those on the front lines, “what if” becomes “what is.” And anything is possible.
By Lauren Roman
If you’d like to help ICU Mobile bring more hope into every community, please click here to donate.
Published on Wednesday, July 22, 2020 @ 1:56 PM EDT
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